I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
