There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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