If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
