But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
