This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
