I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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