i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
