so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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