i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
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Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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