This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
