I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
