alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i think i just lost a toe
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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