Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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