White coat. Heels.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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