I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
