how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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