I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize