pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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