What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
