So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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