I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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