absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
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You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
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You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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