When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
