Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
