i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
