i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
