Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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