Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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