No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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