Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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