how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
