A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
