I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
