If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
