I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
home. puking in laundry basket.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
