My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
