Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
