Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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