D3 body, D1 cock
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
