i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize