I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Be still, my beating vagina.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
