That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
