At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
