Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
All the doctor said was why
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
