i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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