I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
