Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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