with your own penis?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
