he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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