im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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