Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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