I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday