last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
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Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.