At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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