i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize