You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
