I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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