Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
