I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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