I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
