How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize