Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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