I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
